Work-Life Harmony Is the Real Win—Here’s Why
Introduction
Do you remember that scene in The Karate Kid when Daniel is out on the front of the boat, throwing down some sweet karate moves while trying to stay balanced? I think one of my biggest misses in life has been chasing that kind of balance. Also, not buying one of those cool Karate Kid headbands. What if I told you it’s time to stop chasing balance?
I’ve fought hard to find balance between my work and home life—along with everything else that’s pulled at my attention over the years. There are so many things asked of us, and trying to find this balance might not be the answer. Perhaps the only balance in life you should be looking for is, in fact, on the bow of a boat. It’s up to you—scream “I’m the king of the world” with your arms outstretched, or be Daniel-Son working your sweet moves. But as a parent and a leader, it’s time to stop chasing balance.
Find Harmony
If we’re not looking for balance, then what should we be looking for? I heard a leader once say that balance is a myth and does not exist. What we need to be looking for is harmony.
Harmony reminds us that some things will take more time than others—and that’s okay. You might be going through something big at work, and for a while, that could mean getting home a little later. You might be asked to coach the local soccer team—it’ll take a lot of time, but it’s something you’re passionate about. You might step away from your career for a while to focus on your family and raise your kids while they’re young.
If you do this, does it mean you’re not in balance? It might be, depending on what you determine is on your scale—but the secret is, it’s okay. You’ve made the choice to find harmony at this point in your life—and that’s what matters.
I’ve found that life is less about balance and more about recognizing the different chapters we go through. If we are conscious of those and seek harmony in the chapter we are in, there is peace that comes to us. We become more present in the moment and better able to enjoy life. Because we know if I don’t get that promotion in this chapter, there is always another one coming. The best part? You’re the author of that next chapter. So you can make it what you want it to be. Seek harmony in this chapter you are now in, not balance.
Integrate Your Life
When I think of balance I think of the old scale of justice. You know the one—Lady Justice holding a scale with two plates suspended by chains. When you have equal weight in these plates they become balanced. So to find balance between work and home life you need to keep them separate but the same amount in each.
What if we didn’t keep them separate but we learned to integrate them? Meaning we can let parts of our work life blend into our home life—and vice versa.
One of my favorite things to do in one-on-ones with my team was ask about their families. I’d ask about their weekends and get to know who they were outside of work. This way you could get a sense of who they were and what they valued. Then when you would run into them outside of work and they were with their family you could get the full picture.
But integration isn’t just about talking about our families at work—or bringing work talk home. It’s about bringing your family into spaces where they feel included and connected. Every now and then, my family comes into my office to have lunch with me. It’s a great way to break down the wall between work and home.
It’s okay to talk about work at home as well. Let those you love know what you do. If appropriate, get their advice on situations you have there. You don’t have to separate church and state as they say. What you do for work is part of you. Who you are at home has the potential to make who you are at work even better. Build a life where who you are at home and who you are at work exist in harmony.
A Caution
One thing to watch out for: in your pursuit of harmony and integration, don’t neglect an area just because it feels like everything is “in harmony.” There are times when you have to work late, but that should be a small season.
True harmony comes when you’re self-aware, grounded in your values, and clear on your true north. Don’t let family life suffer because you think this is the chapter of your life where you are always at work or one part of your life is taking more time than it should.
The key is to work with the people who love you—and have honest conversations. Get feedback from those you love, and together agree on what chapter of life you’re in—and what harmony looks like for you. If you are married your spouse should play a key role in this harmony and integration. Honest and open conversations to find out what harmony looks like for your family.
Final Thought
The key to a happy life is not balance but harmony. Let your pursuit center on what’s best for you and your family in this chapter of your life. Only you and your family can determine what chapter you are in. Then once everyone is on the same page you can work together to make it happen. We are the authors of our own chapters, so go out and write your story.
If you’re ready to embrace a happier, more present mindset, The Family Plan, offers practical tips and inspiration to strengthen your family bonds while living a balanced, fulfilled life. Available now on Amazon!
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