Parent Manager vs Leader

     One of my favorite authors is leadership expert John Maxwell.  One of the things he teaches that has always stuck with me is that everything rises and falls based off of leadership.  Behind every strong organization or team is a strong leader who is there driving and serving those members of the organization.  The family is the same way in the need for leadership.  Have you ever thought of your role in your family as being the leader of the family.  Some families have partnership leaders some have a sole leader but any strong organization needs someone who is guiding the group through the ups and downs they encounter.

     There is an often debated skill of a manager vs a leader.  When I think of a manager I think of someone who is there to manage work.  To make sure the daily tasks are done and boxes are checked.  They may give feedback and complement the work that was done by their team.  A leader, on the other hand, is one who is able to cast a vision and has an influence over those they have the privilege of working for.  Their followers are those who will get the task done and do it well because they know why they are doing it and don’t want to let down the leader.

     Parents just like good leaders strive to master both of these.  There is a need to be a manager and keep the status quo to drive things to run as smooth as possible.  Think of the last time your kids were playing nice together and that thought goes through your mind, “I am not going to move or even look at them because I want to enjoy this time I am not having to break them apart.”

     We manage the daily tasks like brushing teeth, taking baths, or cleaning rooms but let us remember that as parents we strive to be leaders.  We strive to be parents who have influence over those we have been given the privilege to serve as leaders.  Great leaders look to be of service to those they look after.  This does not mean we let them walk all over us but we do understand that we serve them to help them understand what we want them become.  What they have the potential to become.  Great parents and leaders are many things, but here are 3 important aspects to Parentship (Parent Leadership)

1. See them for what they can become – See the potential that each one of your children has within them.  You may be wiping their nose every ten minutes now but try and see what they can become and help them see what you see in them.  That’s the vision you want to share.
2. Ask Questions – John Maxwell says that great leaders ask great questions.  In order to help see the potential of someone, we need to ask  questions of ourselves that are going to make us better leaders.  As well as ask those on our team questions to help us understand their perspective as well as make them think and see their own potential.
3. Listen – When you ask a question don’t be ready to give a quick answer back.  Remember if you are talking you are not learning.  Learn your child’s hopes and dreams and where they want to go with their lives.  If you want to understand the potential your child has, ask a few more questions and do a lot more listening.

Think of your interactions with your children today.  What times were you a manager and were there times you were a leader?  There is time and a place for both but if you find that you are doing a lot more managing than leading during the course of a day take a step back and find those opportunities that present themselves to cast that vision of what we can become as individuals.