The Most Important Question a Parent Leader Can Ask

Being a parent is the purest form of leadership.  This applies to servant leadership as well. Servant leadership is when you look to serve the people you lead in any way possible.  This does not mean that you wait on them hand and foot. It means that you look to serve your people in ways to make them better.

This is why the most important question you can ask as a parent leader is all about them and puts you in a position to serve.  This important question is “How can I help?”  These might be the four most important words we can use with those we love.  Our job a servant leaders in our family is to bet there to lift others up. To be there to help.

There is a version of this question that I hear from time to time that has good intentions behind it but is one of the worst questions we can ask.  It really is not even a question it is a statement. The sad thing is I have found myself saying it often.  Have you said this before? “If you need my help, just let me know.”

We think we are offering our help but what we are really doing is saying, I want you to think I am here for you but please don’t ask.  I am guilty of this more times than I would like to count.  As I look back when I have “asked” this question there have not been many responses that have given me the chance to help.

When we ask how we can help, it does one important thing.  It changes our intent. Intent is one of thing that sets people apart.  It takes us from good to great.  When we ask what we can help with we are asking for something specific.

When we use this question with our family, it puts us in a great position to help. More importantly, it gives the power to the person we are trying to help.  We empower them to think about what they need with. Then identify ways we can get on the same path as them and help.

So what if they tell us there is nothing we can do to help?  There are still ways we can serve and empower them. Just because they can’t think of something off the bat for you to help with does not mean you take control.  Try asking what they want to get out of the situation. What do they see as the end result?

This way you can get a better understanding of what they are trying to accomplish.  Then you can have a deeper conversation about how they can make it happen and you can both identify opportunities to work together to get to that end result.  When you have a strong enough relationship with those you lead there is always something you can help with. These are the conversations are ways to build that relationship.

Another question to follow up with is to ask, “If there was one thing I could do to help you get to what you are working for what would it be?”  “What is one thing I could do to make it easier for you?”  This way it does not have to be something big but even something small puts you on the path to help.  Once you are on that path with them it is easier to help in other ways along the journey.

Servant leadership starts with asking the right questions.  The most important question you can ask is How Can I Help?  This question puts us in the best position to lead those in our family.  It puts us in a place where we have the chance to lift them up. We don’t have to drag them or push them because we are trying to take them to a place they already want to go.

It gives them the power of direction and us the power of support.  The best gift we can give is the gift of empowerment. Empowerment is a feeling that no matter what comes before you, you can handle it.  This is what great parent leaders give. The feeling that we can take on the world. That feeling starts with your intent to serve and this one powerful question.

If you have not already get your one-page plan for free to help you be intentional with your family.  It is one of the best starting points for you to be a leader in your family.