5 To 1 Interactions

“Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages are more likely to end in divorce.”

— John M. Gottman

In a study done in the 1970s, researchers asked a married couple to solve a conflict in 15 min and observed the couples’ interaction. They then followed up with each couple 9 years later and predicted with 90% accuracy the couples that divorced during the 9 years.

They were able to discover the simple formula for happiness. The couples that were still together had far more positive interactions than negative ones. Is it not rocket science, right? Researchers took it a step further and were able to quantify the ratio of 5 to 1 as the magic formula. Meaning healthy relationships had 5 positive interactions to 1 negative.

  The same is true with any relationship. How many positive interactions do you have with your spouse or child each day? Set this as your goal today. 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction. Your relationship will change as you shoot for 5 to 1 each day. Give yourself a simple reminder and write 5 to 1 on a sticky note and place it somewhere you can see it often.

You could also try and go through your day as you would any other. Count up the interactions you have and put them in a positive or negative category. I have to say I was less than impressed with myself as I did this one the day. I won’t post my results, but let’s say 5 to 1 was not happening. 

Relationships take intentional work. Our relationships with our spouse, kids, or anyone we want to be close to. You can take the steps each day to build healthy relationships with those you love. Make your goal 5 to 1 today.

 

3 Questions To Lead To Action

How many positive interactions do you have with your kids each day?

What is one thing you can do every morning to start your day off with a positive interaction with someone you love?

How can you change something that might be a negative interaction to a positive one in your family?

#5to1 #Healthyrelationship #Family #Parentship #Family #FamilyLead #Leadership

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