Have you ever gone through a parent performance review? If you did, who would be the one doing the reviewing? I worry about the kind of “constructive criticism” my kids would have for me if they were the ones leading the review. It’s an interesting concept to think about, isn’t it? How does one score a perfect score on your year-end review for being a parent?

The truth is, intentional parenting — not perfect parenting — is what really matters most. I don’t think there’s such a thing as a perfect score when it comes to parenting. It might be the one role in life where perfection is truly impossible…

That’s where the term Parentship comes in. It’s a mix of leadership and parenting — where parents understand they’re leaders, and good leaders are intentional about who they are and who they’re leading. They build relationships through love and trying their hardest to be an example.

Parentship

The purest form of leadership is being a parent. In many cases you don’t think of yourself as a leader, but whether you like it or not, you are. When we become a parent, planned or not, we have the mantle of leadership thrown at us. It’s our job to take it on and become the best version of ourselves — because we owe it to those we lead in our family. Leadership is how you make those within your influence feel about themselves.

When you embrace parentship, you understand it’s not about parenting perfectly. It’s about doing things intentionally. It’s about leading with love and building strong relationships within your family. You don’t have to be perfect, but you need to be real and be present. These relationships are built on trust, love, and empathy — not control. Anyone who’s been in a room with young kids knows we’re far from in control — but we can be in the lead.

Parent leaders are vulnerable. They know they don’t have all the answers — but they’re perfectly positioned to keep learning and help those they lead grow alongside them.

Let Go of Perfection

I’m not sure if letting go of perfection comes with age, experience, or just exhaustion. Maybe it is something as time passes you just give up on. But there are many times in my life I feel like I have tried to be the perfect parent and I have missed out on things.

In public, I wanted to be what I thought the perfect dad looked like — one whose kids were always well behaved and didn’t have any issues. I was so focused on how I appeared to the outside world that I lost sight of the smaller world I was in — the one with my children.

Life is messy and that’s okay. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Sometimes we need to let things fall apart in order to truly put them back together — so we can discover what we don’t actually need in our lives. What matters most is the time we take just to be there.

When our intention is to simply build the best human beings we can — in ourselves and those we are given the gift to lead — we let go of the expectation of perfection. We simplify and become intentional. In the end, your presence matters far more than your performance.

I challenge you today to let go of the unrealistic expectations of perfection. You can’t be everything to everyone all the time. But you can be the beautiful mess that is you. 🙂 Focus on being intentional about building loving relationships and think about how you make those you lead feel. Those we lead will remember little about what we say, but they will remember how we make them feel.

It’s Not About the Answers, It’s About the Questions We Ask

• What does intentional parenting really look like in my home?
  
  
• Where in my life am I holding myself to an unrealistic standard of perfection?
  
  
• What small shift can I make today to lead my family with purpose?

 

Stay Connected & Keep Learning

**Stay connected!** Follow us on Instagram and Facebook for more valuable content. Looking to strengthen your family? Discover *The Family Plan*—a guide to intentional parenting. Get your copy.