The first step to being a good teacher

     I have so many things I want to teach my children.  It seems there is never enough time in the day to tell them all the things I think they should know.  With how busy life gets with all the different things that are vying for attention, there is not much time for me to be able to just sit down with them and tell them the things I need them to know.

    When that time does come where we have a few minutes together and the opportunity lends itself for me to put my dad hat on and impart some wisdom I have to take advantage.  So I spend the time telling them what I think they need to know for the situation and hope that a few of those words stick somehow in their brain that I know is going a thousand miles an hour.  The thought runs through my head if I am doing enough for them or I wonder if I am saying the right things.

    In the years I have worked one on one with people in the corporate setting trying to get them to understand the how and why of goals, I feel like that dad hat is still affixed atop my head.  Trying to tell them what they need to know to meet goals for the month or quarter.  These thoughts then turn to hope that I was able to do enough for them or I hope that I have said the right thing to give them the drive to continue on.

    In all these times sitting down with my team members and my children I have come to the realization that there is one thing that I am doing way too much of and I bet every other parent and leader out there finds themselves doing a lot of, talking.  We have so much we want to get out there with our children, spouses, and team members that we spend so much time thinking about what we are going to say that we forget that if we are talking we are not learning.

    We want to persuade others to see our perspective or let them know that solving their problem is so easy if they would just listen to us.  We want to correct something we see which is done wrong, or tell our kids they are so out in left field with how they are handling this situation.  John Maxwell said that the best way to persuade others is with your ears.  

    If you want to persuade those in your family organization take the time to listen to them.  Once you truly understand them you are able to better show them different ways of solving problems and thinking about issues.  I challenge you not to listen to respond but to listen to understand.  Understand where they are coming from and how they are seeing the situation.  You cannot change a perspective of someone close to you if you don’t understand their perspective first.

    A funny thing happens when you start to listen to others more.  They start to listen to you.  This is because when we respond we have a better understanding of what they are trying to tell you.  So when we do respond our answers are more on point with them because we have taken the time to listen.  Great leaders and parents are not those that are demanding and always have something to say.  Great are those who are able to truly listen to the members of their organization and drive the vision of the organization based on what they hear first, then what they say.  So take the time to do the one thing that we all need to stop doing and that is talking so much.