4 Things Dory’s Parents Taught Me About Parentship
Our family has a love of Disney’s Pixar films. I am sure we own most of them and there are a few of them that don’t even work anymore because they have been watched too many times. Thank goodness for digital copies that hold up to little kid fingers better than those DVDs. There is just something about the first time we get to watch these movies. Maybe it is knowing that I will watch this show at least 100 more times in the coming years so I need to enjoy this time where it is new. The show is just not as fun when you can recite every word of the show. As an adult, there are just some points in these shows that stick out even more and as you do more research there are some crazy Disney conspiracy theories out there that you can get lost in.
We had the chance to take in the latest release from Pixar, Finding Dory. This, like all of the Pixar shows, was a great one and my kids quite enjoyed it. If you have not seen the movie there is a spoiler alert ahead if you can’t tell what is already going to happen. There was one scene that stuck out to me that really made me think about our parent leaders in our FamilyLead community. It is a scene right before Dory finds her parents. At the end of her journey, she comes across what is her parent’s house. Although at the time she does not realize her journey for searching for her family is about to come to an end she soon realizes she has found the right house by what is around the house.
From a young age, Dory’s parents have always taught her that in order to find her way back home she just needed to follow the shells. They had set up a system where they would set sea shells that if followed would lead her back home. Because of her condition of short term memory loss they were always worried she would venture out and then forget how to make it back home.
I love this scene where it shows the little house as Droy is approaching and we know it is her parents because of the shells. In the years they had been missing Dory they have set up thousands of shells, all on different paths that lead back home. Just on the off chance, Dory was to come across one of these she would be able to make it back home. I love the lessons it taught me as I think about the culture of my own home. Dory’s parents taught us many things about parentship.
Follow the shells
As leaders, we always hear the term that the door is always open. The same is true for our homes. As our children head out our doors they need to know that they can always come home. The door is always open and we are there waiting to help in what we can. Much like great leaders have an open door policy we need to have the same with the members of our family. No matter situation we need to be ready to help where we can and then teach lessons. I am the first who needs help on this because some many times when my children do something wrong I jump right to teaching. Trying to show them what they did wrong and then open the door to communication. Open the door first with open arms and as this is done first the time to teach will be there after. This concept always reminds me of one of my favorite comic strips, Calvin and Hobbes
Prepare them to leave
Just because the door is always open does not mean that we are always there to bail them out of whatever the issue is. Great leaders create more leaders. Just like great parent leaders create more leaders in and out of the home. As they were setting these shells as a path back they were having Dory set these shells as well. Preparing here and themselves that one day she would leave. Think about it, if they never thought she would leave there would be no need for the shells. One of the greatest things we can do as parents as teach our children the leadership skills they need to make it on their own. Help them develop their talents and let them shine. We build them up to be the best they can be but when they need help they know there is always a path back home to open arms. As we prepare them to leave we also show them there is always love for them where we are.
More Than One Path Back Home
The best part about the shells that Dory’s parents left is there was not just one path back. They made many trails back home so no matter what direction Dory came from she would find one of the shell paths back home. As we set up these shells we need to understand if we only make one path back there is a good chance they won’t make it back. If we put conditions on our open door and arms we are going to miss more chances to help than we will have. Great leaders are there to serve and they don’t put conditions on services because it is done out of love.
Most Important Shells
So what are the shells we are placing? These shells that we place are the small moments in life that happen daily. That time you took the time to help your son with his homework. That’s a shell. When you went into work early just so you could make your daughter’s recital. That was a shell. Those moments when you turned off the TV to have a good conversation with your spouse. That was a shell. Think back on the past week and think of the shells you have placed. Are there as many as you wanted? Are they going to be enough to lead your family or even yourself back to your family when you get off course? If they are great! If you are like me and you see some missing spots where you could have placed a few more shells the good news is you can place one today. Be conscious about placing these shells. You don’t place them for the good times but you are building the path that leads us back during the difficult times. Great leaders build strong foundations on the sunny days, not as the clouds come in.
If you have not already take the time to watch this movie and watch out for those shells. There is no better lesson than one that is taught in a cartoon. If you need some help starting your path of shells takes a look at our FamilyLead One Page Plan. It will get you thinking about your family in a different way and start you down of path of placing these shells. Simply subscribe to be part of the FamilyLead community to get this as your free gift and FamilyLead Updates sent right to your inbox.