3 Tools Every Leader Needs In Their Belt

    I am not a handyman by any stretch of the imagination, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.  I always loved those commercials and how you could become an expert at something just by staying in one of their rooms.  While being a parent leader is not as simple as booking a room.  If I have learned one thing in all my handyman projects that have not gone as well as the Pinterest picture shows, is that having the right tools makes all the difference.  There are tools that every parent leader needs in their tool belt that make things easier.

    The tools you have in your belt determine how you approach a problem that comes up in your family organization.  It was observed that if the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.  Many times we have a one size fits all solution to the problems that come up in our family.  Great organizations understand that greatness relies on the daily processes they have in place.

    I have found this out with my two children.  The same tools that work with my son have absolutely no affect on my daughter.  The funny part is when we use the same discipline tools that work on my son my daughter could care less but my son will fill so bad for her that he will start crying for her.  While these tools don’t have to deal strictly with discipline there are three tools leaders should have in their parent leadership tool belt.

Empathy – The single most important tool any leader can have is the tool of empathy.  Have you ever tried to put yourself into your 3-year-olds shoes and tried to figure out how they are feeling?  Have you ever tried to see the challenges your teenager is facing and looked at them not how you would have handled it, but how they see these challenges from their point of view?  The power of empathy gives us understanding. The chance to try and feel how members of our family are feeling based on their needs and not what we want them to feel.  Empathy is a skill that can be learned if we simply take the time to get to know the members of our family and step outside of ourselves for the good of those who are part of our family organization.

Time– There is no substitute  for time in our family organizations.  I understand that there are things that take us away from our families like work or other responsibilities but we need to schedule a time to be with our family.  This should be a time where we can put down our cell phones or other distractions and be in the moment with those we love.  If you feel like you are missing a tool in your belt for situations with your children or even your spouse, set aside time to spend with them.  You will be surprised how many problems can be taken care of just by spending time together and talking to one another.  During this time ask more questions than give answers.  Truly get to know them and spend this time to sharpen your tool of empathy as well.

Teaching – Great leaders are teachers.  This does not mean that you need to spend time at the chalkboard with your children but it does mean you need to take the time to teach your children what you feel they need to be successful in this world.  One of the biggest disservices we can give our children is when we expect them to learn life’s lessons outside the home.  Parent leaders need to look for moments where we can teach our family the habits and the mindset they need to find success.  Teach by example and look for those teachable moments that present themselves.

    The right tools make the jobs before us as leaders much easier to handle as life throws us situations.  What situations are you facing with your family organization right now that you see as a nail?  It is something you are consistently hitting with your hammer but it does not seem to take care of the job?  Take some time to step back and look at that nail again.  As you step further back you might just see that it is not a nail and requires a different tool.  The great news is that no matter the situation you can find the right tool to put in your belt to fix the problem so don’t give up.  Keep searching and try different approaches and you will add different tools to your belt.

What are other tools you feel parent leaders should have in their tool belt?  Comment below and let us know.